Crystal Martin, Crystal Martin
If you've ever wanted to try your hand at cross stitch, let this bit of snarkiness be your starting point. Download this pattern and follow the simple instructions. Subversive Cross Stitch offers a wide variety of sarcastic phrases, and lucky for us, they created several patterns exclusively for DIY Network.
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Cut a piece of fabric slightly larger than the pattern, at least 8" x 10". Find the approximate center of the pattern by following the small black arrows on the edge of the pattern grid. You can fold the paper both vertically and horizontally, or mark the center with a pen. Then find the approximate center of the fabric by folding in the same way and leaving a deep crease in the center. This method is called counted cross stitch, as it literally counts the squares of the material and replicates the pattern. Plan to start sewing something that is close to the center of the pattern. Working this way (from the center out) will ensure that you don't sew through the material.
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Find the stitches closest to the center and start with that color of floss. Cut a strand that is approximately 18 to 20 inches long. DMC floss is six strands - wrap the floss between your fingers and you'll see that what looks like one piece of floss is actually six smaller strands. Wear only two strands at a time. This is SUPER IMPORTANT! Otherwise, your seam will be too bulky. This pattern is very simple and almost always requires just the basic "X" stitch. You may see straight lines in the design; cut them exactly as they appear in the table. They are like half stitches. To start sewing:Tie a very small knot in one end or leave a short tail and make the first stitches over it to keep it flat. Bring the threaded needle up from the back of the fabric. Relax while you sew; The stitches should lie flat and not distort the fabric.
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There are two methods for sewing. When you're just starting out, you'll probably want to sew each X one at a time. When you feel more comfortable, you can eventually work a row of half stitches (/ / / / /), then work backwards to complete the Xs. This method is easier to do without a hoop. So keep it simple at first until you learn. The main thing is that every X crosses in the same direction. That is, the upper thread of the X must always be inclined in the same direction. It doesn't matter which way they are angled, but if they are mixed, the finished piece will look uneven.
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Here is an example of the back side of some sewn pieces. Don't worry about what the back looks like because life is too short and once you put it in a frame, no one will ever know. If you choose to secure the thread at the back with knots, make sure they are very small or look clumpy from the front.
Martin Crystal
It is a good idea to wash the finished piece, although it is not absolutely necessary. Hand wash in a little cold water in the sink with a little touch of Woolite or a very diluted detergent. Let it dry completely and then press it with a lot of steam. Be careful not to singe the final iron. If it does burn, don't despair, it will usually go away when rewashed if it's the color of toast and the fabric isn't damaged.
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To finish, use Stitchery Tape - it's the best. You can find it in the supplies section of the Subversive Cross Stitch website. It's made specifically for this purpose and is an archival-quality, acid-free adhesive, in case you accidentally create an heirloom.
Crystal Martin, Crystal Martin
The main thing is to enjoy the delicious thrill of embroidering smart messages in the last place people expect to see them. Don't worry about perfection, enjoy the ride! When you're done, share your work with the subversive cross stitch group. Additional stitching done by Melissa King and Marshall Thompson.
